Verdict: Addict!

Signs and symptoms of addiction and abuse:
1) Withdrawal symptoms after reducing or stopping chronic drug use
2) Unable to stop using
3) Preoccupation with drug

Ecstasy I tell you! Sheer ecstasy! Lifted my spirit up so high that I had a smile conveniently plastered across my face, the kind that makes people think you've lost your marbles. "That felt great!" I exclaimed and continued smiling. I did not need anything else. Hunger and thirst was forgotten. My adrenal glands burst forth with a flush of adrenalin, keeping that smile fixed firmly from ear to ear.

But the way my body, mind and soul reacted to the 'fix' made me reflect, examine and confess..."My name is Jaya and I am an addict!" Have I been in denial all this while that I did not see this fall from grace? Or was I just indifferent that it did not occur to me? Now it makes sense. All of it. The restlessness, concentration problems and anxiety from the withdrawal, the refusal (more like the inability) to stop despite the fact that many parties have attempted to persuade me to quit and move on to 'better' things, and finally the debilitating preoccupation with this 'fix'.

It's confirmed! I am addicted to teaching! I came to this realisation yesterday, having delivered my first lecture since 2nd October which filled the heart with delight, pure delight.

But it's cold turkey again for me until the 26th of November.